Gold Rush Roots, Silver Spoon Results

Okay, so another fancy private school is patting itself on the back for its "outstanding matriculation results." St. Mary's Waverley, huh? Founded in 1888 during the actual gold rush? Give me a break. So it's old. So what? Lots of things are old. My grandpa's dentures are old, doesn't mean they're impressive.

Four distinctions per student? 96% achieving distinctions? It's all just numbers, designed to make parents feel like they're getting their money's worth. But what kind of education are these kids getting? Are they learning to think critically, or just memorize facts to regurgitate on a test? I bet half of them couldn't point out Jeppestown on a map without using Google.

The article makes much of its history, founded by Bishop Bousfield because he was concerned about the daughters of Johannesburg's "first gentlemen." Translation: He wanted to make sure the daughters of rich guys didn't, god forbid, become educated alongside the hoi polloi. Some things never change, do they?

And this Miss Evelyn Darke character, who apparently personally helped with construction and introduced the house system? Sounds like some kind of saint. But let's be real, every school has its legendary figures. The question is, are they still living up to that legacy, or just coasting on it? This "Angel Doors" thing sounds a bit much, doesn't it?

"Strong Values" or Strong Indoctrination?

Deanne King, the current head of St. Mary's, claims the school's "Anglican faith remains the foundation of its community, inculcating strong values." Strong values, huh? Like what? Blind obedience? Unquestioning acceptance of the status quo? Offcourse, I'm being cynical. Maybe. But forgive me for being skeptical when I hear words like "values" coming from institutions that cater to the elite.

They teach the girls to "look beyond themselves" and "take part in community programs." Translation: They want them to feel good about themselves while doing some token charity work so they can sleep soundly in their mansions. I'm not saying all charity is performative, but let's be real.

What really bothers me is this whole "home for its pupils" narrative. A school isn't a home. It's a place where you're supposed to learn. And if it's just a place where you're "nurtured, loved, and given opportunities to discover and develop their best selves," then what's the point of even having teachers? It sounds like some kind of expensive daycare for rich kids who need constant validation.

So, What's the Real Story?

It's a gilded cage. These girls are being prepped for a world where their privilege is not only accepted but expected. They'll go on to become doctors, lawyers, and CEOs, reinforcing the very systems that created the inequalities they occasionally volunteer to alleviate. And honestly, maybe I'm just jealous that I didn't get to go to a school with "angel doors." Maybe. But I doubt it.